Thoughts on Marriage

Now I know we've only been married about 2 1/2 years, so it's not like we can go around dispensing loads of wisdom about married life, but I was thinking last week about something particular that I feel is one of the keys to a good marriage. To put it in a nutshell:

Your spouse deserves just as much common courtesy as anyone else.

This may seem axiomatic, but for those of you out there who have ever been married, you know how elusive common courtesy can be in a long-term relationship. It's so easy to take your partner for granted because they're always there - and often in your way.

As easy as it is to think of your spouse solely in terms of his or her relationship to you, it is so important to remember that he or she is also an independent person; and just because you are committed to be with each other, this does not mean you can treat each other worse than you would other people. Spouses have just as much of a right to personal space, privacy, politeness, kindness, compliments, etc. as anyone else: in short, they have a right to common courtesy.

I can already feel myself slipping into that mode of taking Mike for granted. Once the novelty wears off, you're not going to be constantly aware of how lucky you are to be with your spouse like you were when you were dating. Personally, I think marriage is way better than dating because your lives become intertwined in a much more concrete way and you feel that constant comfort and companionship of daily sharing life together. But I have been thinking recently about how if you don't cultivate treating each other with common courtesy, you will slowly drain your spouse's reserves of goodwill until they can no longer help but take offense at how they are treated.